More Martha Stewart than Bill Nye the Science Guy

Log #3497 of Embarrassing Moments

Scene:  Youth Valentines Dance Saturday Night

The dance had just started, youth gathering but not yet dancing.  I was going around checking the tables—straightening tablecloths, generally fidgeting with stuff. 

Near the front of the room we have a round table with two large "igloo" coolers with ice water.  I thought it was weird how one cooler was facing out the door and the other was on the opposite side facing the stage.  Clearly, they would look better facing into the room, so I changed them.  Satisfied with the improved aesthetic, I turned to walk away.

Behind me, I heard this terrible sound:  CRASH!  WOOSH! 

About a million gallons of ice water went sliding into the dance floor as the table totally tipped over and the tablecloth, decorations and balloons went flying every which way. AAARGH!  In that instant of clarity I understood why they had been on the table the way they were.  Hmmm.  Fortunately, a bunch of very helpful teenagers came to my aid.  Armed with mops and paper towels, I had more helpers than I knew what to do with (except Tyler.  I think he was hiding in the bathroom so he didn't have to admit he knew me).

The night got better from there.  

These are some of my favoritest women serving in Stake YW with me!  These were toward the end of the night so I think I look a little haggard, but I love them so much I had to include!  (Thanks Cassie & Dave for the photobooth!)

Who’d a Thunk?

Have you ever hung out with a family for years on end?  Played together, grown up together, cried together, vacationed together, through thick and thin?  And, what if that family happened to have kids the same age as your own kids?  And what if some of their kids were girl kids and some of your kids were boy kids?

I think it would be understandable, even NATURAL if the moms (who are inclined toward this kind of thing) kind of started thinking (when the kids are like 2 or 3)…

“Matchmaker, Matchmaker…”

But, *sigh*, you know those things NEVER work out.

Usually as soon as soon as I mention a girl might be cute, my boys start running as hard as they can in the OPPOSITE direction.  Don’t they know I have EXCELLENT taste!!!?

So imagine my surprise when Tyler comes to me a few weeks ago and says:

“So. Would it be ok if I went to Winter Formal?”

Me:  “Uh, sure.  When is it?”

Tyler:  “Dunno.”

Me:  “Uh, OK.  Who are you gonna ask?”

Tyler:  “Aralie.”

Me: (keeping my cool) “Oh. OK”

Miss Aralie is a Hoskins.  We’ve known the Hoskins since 1994 or 1995.  Tyler and Aralie were 2 and we lived in Lakewood.  We served in church callings together and became lifelong friends.  Jeff and Leonard work at the same company.  We moved to Santa Clarita in 1997, they moved to Santa Clarita a few years later.  We have been together for most major life events (and a lot of stuff in between) ever since.

I should have become suspicious, take a look at some of our vacation photos—Mazatlan, 2005:

And, more recently, Rancho Mirage last summer:

You get the idea.  Somehow in every group picture, they end up being RIGHT NEXT to each other.  Coincidence?  Not so much, I’m thinking now.

So, back to the dance.  He went with an “Elf” theme to decorate her room (he must have thought she would not have to consider her answer very long, since the dance was only 10 DAYS AWAY at this point):

        

Her reply:

Daleen and I just keep marveling that we didn’t do even have to do a THING!  Look at these cuties!

    

Things couldn’t have worked out any BETTER if we’d planned them ourselves!! (But don’t tell Tyler that, hehe).

Turning Point

Today is the day.

I’ve been a Peacock for exactly half my life.

Day of Gluttony

Or,

Manly Men Masticate Meat

For the uninitiated, Tucano’s is a Brazilian steakhouse, which means that for one all inclusive price you get to gorge yourself on grilled flesh brought skewered to your table until you puke.  Oh, there is a salad bar, but only girls go there.

We girls decided if we were just going to eat overpriced salad, we’d stay home, thank you very much.  Also, we do not like to puke.  It’s overrated for anyone who has ever been pregnant.

So, this was an all-testosterone adventure on New Year’s Eve—Jeff, b.i.l. Dave, and an assortment of sons and nephews (they had to nearly kidnap 2 nephews, their parents did not think gluttony was wholly necessary):

(Oops, I see contraband on one of those plates.  It appears Coleman broke the Man-code and went to the salad bar!)

Pineapple…the lone exception to the grilled flesh only rule.

No thanks Dave, you have it!  Did you bring your pant expanders with you?

(As an aside, a few years ago we went on an Alaskan cruise and mid way through the week, Dave had to resort to pant expanders to shore up his girth due to the extreme amount of food he’d eaten…Funnier still cuz he’s the skinniest of us all—kinda like how a snake looks when it’s just ingested a large rodent. jk, love ya dave!)

 

BEFORE:

 

AFTER:

Look at those bellies!