School Pictures

Back in the day…

We dressed up for school photos.

We ordered lots of wallet-sized photos.  We would sign the backs and trade them with our friends.  We kept them in our wallets.  Kind of a manual Facebook if you will.

My mom kept a book with all the 8X10s in chronological order of my brother and I.

Things have changed.

I was happy if the boys wore clean tshirts that did not have superheroes or monster trucks on them (elementary school) and that still had the sleeves intact (high school).

Bryce came home from school a few weeks ago and announced disgustedly that he was the ONLY one in his class that had ordered school pictures and how embarrassed he was.  He instructed that I was never again allowed to order school pictures.  His reputation just couldn’t take the hit.

I think it’s a cumulative reaction.  I don’t think he’s quite over last year’s experience when the teacher snidely remarked that “Bryce must really like pictures” when he passed out photos.  There was some glitch and the photographer printed waaaaaay more than what I had ordered (or paid for).  And the packets kept coming.  And coming.

Seriously, we could have wrapped all of our Christmas presents last year in Bryce’s photos.

I thought it was funny.

He did not. Oh humiliation.

Besides, I told him to chill.  He’s a junior this year.  It’s the last time he’ll have to endure such degradation.

Plus, I have to finish my book of 8X10s.

Except all of those photos—17 years of school pictures-- are all still sitting on my desk.

I’m sure I’ll get to it.

Why Do I Do This?

It is common in our church to feed families when crisis hits.  Loss of job?  Illness?  New baby?  For all of those reasons and many more, we have a whole army ready to bring you food.  One time I mentioned that my son was home with the sniffles and later that afternoon my family was treated to the most delicious, homemade fried chicken dinner.  In most cases we can’t give any real help with the underlying problem, but we can express our love by nurturing your family and relieving you from one aspect of day to day tedium.  I’m sure this is common in other churches as well, but I do believe we may have elevated this act of service to Olympic proportions. We’ve got organizations and systems to accomplish this.

Our little congregation has recently been hard hit by many tragic circumstances—testicular cancer, leukemia, breast cancer, bicycling accident.  People we love are hurting--emotionally and physically.  Of course I would do my part!

This is where this post doesn’t make me look very good.  You see, I often sign up for bringing dinner to someone and, well, I almost always regret doing so.

I have grand intentions.  I plan what I’ll make and think, “Oh, I’ll just double what I was going to make for my family anyway.  It won’t be any bother at all!”  Except, it always ends up being a bother.  I’m always late getting started and things always take longer than I think.  I want it to be hot when it arrives to the other family but then I don’t want my family’s dinner to be ruined.  Timing it all to finish at the same time isn’t my strong suit anyway.

I’ll arrange a time to bring dinner and find that I’m rushing at the end for it to cook and then to package it (in things the family won’t have to worry about returning—like they need to be worried about THAT on top of everything else!).  Inevitably I’m 15-20 minutes late which means I’m hot, sweaty, rushed and usually have burns on at least two fingers by the time I arrive.  I woosh in and leave it all on the counter and get the heck out of there because I’m so embarrassed to be so late.  Truth be told, I’m also usually unsure of what to say in these instances so I hurry to leave.

Every time I think in my mad rush, “Why?  Why did I sign up for this?”  I think about all of the other sisters who are willing, happy and so much more capable to do this.  I imagine that I am the only one—IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD—that this is hard for.  I must make it too complex or it’s an internal fatal flaw that makes it especially difficult for me.

Why do I do this to myself?

I had this happen to me about a month ago.  I thought about never signing up to do dinners again.  And then I had the sweetest experience.  I brought dinner in and the mom and kids were so appreciative. They fawned over everything I brought and swore that they were all of their favorites.  THEY engaged ME in conversation—they shared their hopes and fears about what was going on.  THEY opened up to me and I felt loved and welcomed.  They did everything for me that I should have been doing for them (besides the food part).  I felt the SPIRIT so strongly in their home.

I left food, but I was the one who was fed.

Why do I do this?

I do it because I’m selfish.  I need to have that feeling.  I need to sacrifice.  Sacrifice is the very essence of service.  I don’t want to float through life always being comfortable.  I want to dig in and leave myself open to frustration because then I can truly know joy. 

It’s such a little thing.  Dinner.  But by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.

Scenes from Teaching Bryce to Drive

Yep, that most favorite of parenting chores…driver’s training.

Oh, how I dread that first month!

But it’s all good, we’re nearing the home stretch.

One time, he was making a left hand turn across traffic and he says:

“Sometimes I feel like I’m in a game of Frogger”

Yes, yes it does…

Dirty Laundry

I love doing laundry.

Really.

I think it may have started when our laundry room moved upstairs.  My washer and dryer used to be in the garage (not exactly a laundry ROOM).  I used to collect the clothes from the hampers upstairs and just throw the clothes over the banister to land with a *PLOP* in the entry way where I would then separate the piles.  There they would stay all day until I got through all the piles.  Not a good day to receive visitors.

{bannister, back in the day}

{present day entry way}

And don’t even get me started on getting the clean clothes (did I mention that the clothes were being washed in the GARAGE??) back up the stairs and folded, etc. etc.

It was a good day when we created an actual room INSIDE THE HOUSE where laundry could be processed in a bright and clean room, right next to where the clothes are!

It was an even better day when the hubster gave me a little tv for the laundry room on Mother’s Day one year.  Guilt free viewing.  Suddenly, everything was getting folded right away.  I can’t explain it.  Genius on his part, I think.

Anyway.  I know I may have ranted on occasion about laundry: HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE {um, I guess this is a theme for me, maybe counseling is in order}.  I really do love the whole process.  The gathering, the sorting, the spot removing, the processing, the folding, the stacking.  BUT NOT the putting away.  I don’t love that part, I don’t know why.

I love that it can all be done in a day and for a brief moment, everything can be CLEAN.  It’s a very orderly process.   And, I can immediately see progress!  At the end there is this bar graph of clothing and linen stacks.  It’s better than a crossed out “To-Do” list (which I also love, by the way).

It takes little thought to do the laundry, so it’s a great time to think and process and plan for the week (and to watch the Bachelorette without snide comments from the peanut gallery—GIVE LOVE A CHANCE!  Sheesh). 

I’ve talked about football laundry, and it is truly gross.  But today when I’m only doing laundry for Jeff and I (Bryce is in Utah with his brother), I must say I wouldn’t mind a little football laundry to do.

One time when Tyler was home from school, I gathered his laundry as usual and began washing it.  He told me, “Mom, I can do that.  You don’t have to do that for me.”  He didn’t understand that I actually wanted to do his laundry for him.  It’s an act of love for me.  I love to take care of my boys.* 

*Disclaimer:  I don’t love cleaning their pee off the toilets.  True story.

Mayhem on the 2nd Floor

This is Zoey.

She hangs out with this guy a lot.

For some reason she likes Sparky even though he rules with in iron paw.  He bosses her around constantly.

Here he is guarding the door to “his” room.  If she attempts to cross the border he’ll snarl and bark at her.

Despite that, she is sunny and optimistic.

Sometimes she’ll mind him and sometimes she’ll just toss her head and do whatever she wants anyway. 

But she always acknowledges his dominance.

It’s hard being on the bottom of the food chain.

But she has discovered there are some in our household that are lower than her.

This is Teddy and Bear. 

They live in the room where boys used to live.  It’s directly above my office.

Zoey doesn’t like them.  Can’t stand them.

Sometimes I can hear what sounds like herds of elephants galloping (do elephants gallop?) through the rooms and hallways upstairs.

It will go on for several minutes and cross from one side of the upstairs to the other and back again.  And again.

Later, when I go upstairs, this is what I’ll inevitably find:

I imagine her going in and staring them down.

“Waddaya lookin’ at?”

“Oh yeah?”

“Oh YEAH?”

They rumble and then, POW! before they know it, they’re flat on their backs.

She takes them down daily.

She seems all innocent when we’re in the room together, sitting them back in their chair, like they don’t bug her at all.

But she can’t leave them alone.  They never stay in their chair for very long.

It’s kind of a game that we play.

Today was especially bad.  This is what I found.

Poor Labrador.  This isn’t his fight.  He never even saw her coming.

The World According to Bryce: The Right and Wrong Way to Select Sourdough Bread

Have I mentioned that Bryce is slightly OCD?  Self-diagnosed, just so you know.  Our treatment plan alternates between placating and desensitization therapy depending on how inconvenienced we are by the whole thing.

Bryce goes through phases on his preferred (read:  this is the ONLY acceptable choice) main course for his school day lunches.  For years he had peanut butter and jelly—white bread and no chunks (in the PB or J) of any kind.  He graduated in junior high to crusts on. 

Like that, all of the sudden, PB & J was out of favor and it was all meat and cheese all the time.  Mustard, never mayo.  On sourdough.

I did not realize, however, that there was a right and wrong way to buy sourdough bread.

Rookie mistake, I know.

You might think that he would prefer a certain brand name.

You would be wrong.

Typically, I purchase the standard sourdough round.  You know the kind.  The slices on the end are about 3 inches wide, compared to the middle slices which are about 10 inches wide. 




Due to the variation in size, I always just ended up taking a middle slice and cutting it in half to form the sandwich.  The ones on the end we used for toast for breakfast and such.

Life was good.

Then there was the time when I chose the deli cut.  The kind where the slices are shaped more like regular bread.  Same brand, same everything else.  Just SHAPED DIFFERENTLY.



I ACTUALLY thought I was making an improvement over standard. (Seriously, I had these conscious thoughts…)

1. I don’t have to cut a slice, but can use the bread AS IS right out of the package.
2. The sides don’t have as much of the chewy crust, which has to be easier for kids with braces.

It was not a good move.

He urged me to reconsider my sourdough choices the next time I was shopping.  And never do that again.  I am not exaggerating.  EVERY day for a week I heard about the bread.

His justification?  He felt like the whole loaf had been cheated of its sides.  Clearly, they were reject loaves.  He could imagine the little sourdough loaves all baking together.  Deli cut was simply a euphemism for “ya, the round ones got all your crusts, na-na-na-na-na!”  And for that, they were deemed less than inadequate.

OK.  Cuckoo, but whatever.  It’s easy enough to just buy the rounds instead, so I did.

Only.  There was this time I sent Jeff to the store for a few things.  Including sourdough bread.  I made sure to tell him how to buy sourdough bread.  I think I scared him.  (probably.  I did not want to be harangued all week)

The store shelves were out of (gasp!) sourdough rounds and ONLY had the deli cut.  He panicked. 

Now what?  He got an employee to look in the back.  Yes.  A guy.  Asking for help in the store.  That’s how scared he was.

He apologetically brought home a loaf of deli cut.  I braced for impact. 

BRYCE:  “I never said I didn’t like the deli cut.”

True story. *sigh*

Why I Don’t Think I Should Use Pinterest to Plan a Bridal Shower.

I’ve planned many baby and bridal showers.  They may not have been perfect or even as great as what I had in my mind, but I was generally satisfied with the result.  The bride or mom (I think) felt honored and had fun with her peeps and all was well with the world.

Then came Pinterest.

I had avoided it for a long time.  I was already too digitally engaged and didn’t need just one more reason to waste time.

My friend Judy and I began planning a shower for this pretty little lady (center)--

Judy invited me to view her ideas on Pinterest.  Dangit.  Ok.  I set up an account strictly to look at them.

I had 5 followers by the next day.  Ha!  Joke’s on them, I have no idea what I’m doing.

Oh, cute.  Oh. Yes, we can do that.  Cinchy.

Let’s start with the food, because I think that was mostly a success…

We planned chicken salad in phyllo cups—

This is the Pinterest picture

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is actual.  Good job, Judy!

 

 

 

We also planned cucumber sandwiches.

 

 

Not necessarily this fancy, but you get the idea …

 

 

 

 

We kinda thought we might include bread and a spread of some sort (you know, the sandwich part).  But, well, something had to go when all was going amiss (more on that later).  I think simplicity adds a certain sophistication, don’t you?

We also had a lovely salad that I made from our friend’s recipe (shout out HERE!  She’s amazing!).   The picture does not do it justice, the colors are really pretty.  Spinach, couscous, roasted carrots and pine nuts with a garlic/white balsamic dressing. 

Can’t take too much credit.  Hubby roasted the carrots and Judy made the dressing.  I panicked when I saw the small container of dressing in the fridge and insisted she make more, lots more.  Only later did I realize that it didn’t have the olive oil in it yet.  Probably THE decision that spelled the end of the cucumber sandwiches AND we ended up with way more dressing than needed.  Sorry Judy!

Berries and amazing cookies brought by friends (another shout out HERE!  Thank goodness for talented friends!)  Overall grade?  B.  Would have been higher, but I marked myself off for being grouchy with guests and shooing them outside while I was stressing about food prep.  I don’t think anyone missed the sandwiches, they’re probably all avoiding carbs anyway!  Fortunately the heavenly cookies don’t count as carbs *wink*.

For drinks, we planned from Pinterest:

 

 

Flavored lemonade with cute lemon ice all served in canning jars with fancy straws.

 

The results?  Not bad at all!  We did have a cute punchbowl just like the one above (trust me, unfortunately no pics!) but it was watermelon lemonade with mint sprigs and the cute ice.  Warm day, though, so the ice melted quickly and we had…lemon slices.  OK then. 

We did use canning jars (without the lids) and cute straws: 

Probably cuter when full.  Grade?  I’d say A-.  I only graded off for our industrial black ladle that we used to serve with.

 

 

 

Décor.  That’s where the real fun starts.  We had a plan.  It was mostly a good one, I think.  Japanese lanterns under the patio cover.  Food table on the patio.  Tables and chairs in the yard with white linens, rustic centerpieces and little potted plants as favors.  Here is some of the Pinterest inspiration:

We were using Judy’s yard, and she’s my neighbor so I went over to her house in the am to set up.  Her 3 kids were invaluable little helpers as they toted and carried and taped stuff. 

The day was gorgeous!  We were so excited.  We set up the tables and chairs out in the yard with white linen.  Each table had a square of craft paper in the center with the bride’s name written along the borders.  In the center were large canning jars with informally arranged flowers and a jute bow.  Encircling the flowers were mini potted succulents, each with a quote about love for the guests to take home as favors, like little fortunes.  Doesn’t it sound lovely?  Can you imagine it in your mind?  You’ll have to  because we didn’t get a picture.  Oh, and we spent way too much time attaching jute to the patio cover with duct tape, untangling the lanterns (from a previous use) and hanging them.  Probably another sign those cucumbers were just going to have to go it alone without bread nor spread.

It was lovely.  Martha would have been so proud.  I went home to get cleaned up and the birds were chirping merrily.

Meanwhile.

The wind came up.  Wiped out the rustic flowers, which spilled their water and ruined the craft paper centerpieces.  The mini pots all tipped and because they were so mini their dirt was already dry and fell out and blew away.  The jute hanging the Japanese lanterns kept giving way.  We put A LOT more duct tape up and crossed our fingers.

As the guests were arriving, we put them to work!  We moved the food to the counter inside and all the tables under the patio cover.  Simplicity ruled the day and the craft paper was done away with, the rustic flowers centerpieces were REALLY rustic and the cute mini plants were salvaged and gathered aside. 

OK, not ideal, but on the plus side they ended up in the shade which was WAY better than our original plan.

Our lovely bride eating her lunch on her unadorned table, save for the rustic flowers.  Ugh.  So plain.  Note how sunny it is on the lawn.  We did dodge a bullet on that one.  Thank goodness the wind had a better idea.

Another rustic flower centerpiece and note the people (mostly) smiling in the shade.

I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to making floral centerpieces.  It takes a lot of flowers to make an arrangement look casual and unfussy.  OK, probably not that many flowers.  These are all the flowers I DIDN’T USE.  Don’t even ask how much they cost.

Our Japanese lanterns.  Cute, huh?  If you look closely you can see the sagging jute.  It became comical as a piece of duct tape gave way one at a time and various guests had lanterns bopping them on their head.  We were taking bets on where the next piece would fail.  Oh yeah, good times. 

I love this picture because you can actually see the duct tape piece perched in mid air on the fallen jute.  Kind of like a tacky fly strip that used to hang on my grandparents’ back patio.

Overall grade on the decorations:  A for effort, D for outcome. 

The resurrected favors.  Trust me, they looked really cute on the tables.  I still like these. 

The day after the shower people would come up and compliment the shower.  It was impossible for me to simply say “thank you” in response.  Instead, I felt the need to launch into this discounted acceptance where I told them in detail all the things it could have been.  Awkward.

So, I don’t think I’ll be using Pinterest to plan parties again any time soon.  It just sets my own personal expectations TOO HIGH and I can’t just live with my dashed hopes.  It’s all just so much more enjoyable when I don’t have these unattainable fantasy creations to compare myself too.

It’s kinda the same reason that I don’t buy SHAPE magazine.