Monday, March 30, 2009

Now There's a Mental Image You Won't Soon Forget

I know some of our more rural friends and relatives will find this hard to believe, but our backyard is teaming with critters after dark. We've sat in the hot tub late at night and watched opossums cross from one side to another and seen a whole family of raccoons walking along the fence. Of course, the coyotes (outside the fence!) are the reason we're no longer cat people.

Anyway, this is what happened Friday night. You will have to use your imagination. No video, sorry. We've already sent it to Amercia’s Funniest Home Videos. Our $10,000 check is surely in the mail.

It's 2:44 a.m. Sparky is outside (oops). He starts barking his "how dare you!" bark. Lisa sits straight up in bed, grabs cheese from the fridge and sprints outside, turning on all the yard lights. Sparky's got something cornered in the yard and is not interested in cheese. Barking. Hissing. An opossum lunges at Sparky and he yelps like he's been bit. Lisa screams and inexplicably throws the cheese in the pool (somehow finding the time to think: "Great! That was dumb-now I'll have to fish that out later...") Amateurs

Lisa moves to plan B: the hose. She just gets it turned on when, from out of the doorway, appears her hero! Jeff (in underwear) staggers from house bearing a 3' Maglight in one hand and "tire-knocker" (whatever that is) in the other. Dah-duh-duh-dah! Jeff studiously avoids the opossum. "It has teeth!" he yells and goes for dog. Meanwhile, Lisa has finally gotten the hose untangled and blasts the water but has unfortunate aim. Cold water. Everywhere, including our hero. The combatants separate and Jeff captures Sparky. Opossum, Sparky and Jeff all wet. Opossum saunters off. Jeff towels down. Sparky gets hugs (not from Jeff). No harm, no foul. Return to bed. 2:58 a.m.

And the boys slept on….

Most people don’t know that Opposums have the most teeth of any mammal. 50.

(mostly written by Jeff with edits by Lisa, because she just can't help herself)


Mark and/or Lisa said...

Wow. What an experience. I was also thinking how great it would be to have the video...till you got to the part about Jeff in his underwear... soaking wet.

The Queen said...

I'm dying. That was hilarious. Maybe if you got lucky your neighbors filmed it.

Hoskins Family said...

I can totally see this whole thing playing out! Too funny!

Kevin and Lindsey said...

LoL, that is hilarious! Definitely made my day!

the organic kitchen said...

Lisa what exactly did you think you were going to feed with cheese???? Lindsay loves cheese, you could have fed her, but I don't think animals in the wild eat cheese. Funny story and very well told!~ Linda